Guys!!! I’m finally moving on to a new season!!!!
In the past couple of months the Lord has finally released me from this long 8-year season and has called me to move to the city.
(No, I’m not moving to Dubai but just look at that gorgeous fantasy/sci-fi insanity! Ima pretend that that’s where I’m going on my new hovercraft with my AI bestie and robot dog.)
I’ve been restless since the fall of 2016 and have been praying and searching for over a year. I kept thinking God would reveal the next job direction for me so I was surprised when instead he gave me a place! I’m not really sure when because I have no other details yet, but probably sometime this year.
I’m both excited and terrified. It feels like freedom but also a crazy trust exercise. The Lord keeps reminding me to take one day at a time. Very Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
In November I started to take an acting class in the city with Dreamer (she’s actually an professional actor) because I felt very stuck and she recommended I try it to challenge myself. The class is this exercise for actors that can very much resemble therapy in certain ways. It pushes you to be truthful, present, and vulnerable. I have benefitted from getting out of my comfort zone, seeking connection with people and being willing to be vulnerable with them in a safe space to do so. It has helped me use my intuition to really see what is going on with others. It is also helping me identify and process my own thoughts and feelings which is usually a challenge for me.
There are men in this class.
Single. Attractive. Men.
Granted, they’re not all Christians nor are they all my age, but they are fantastic practice for interacting with attractive single guys. Practice that I desperately need after living in my small town for 8-years and having hardly any prospects.
I’m not a shy person usually. I can have great conversations in which I’m animated and funny and warm and engaging and knowledgable. I can talk this way to a guy I’m not attracted to as the day is long. But as soon as I start talking to one I find appealing every thought flees and I politely start grasping for topics and say stupid things about the weather. THE WEATHER, guys! This happened at New Years and I’m not kidding.
So PRACTICE is fantastic. Also, the acting class requires me to keep eye contact with some very sexy men for a long time and I’m terrible at doing that in real life so its good!
It’s been so nice to interact with them, in many ways I feel like a boy-crazy teen again. I don’t hate it!!! But also I have to force myself to calm down a little.
Me to me:
Me to me:
Me to me: