I haven’t written poetry since high school, so be warned. I have no idea if this is good or not but whatever. Tonight I found myself swept away by my powerful imagination yet again and HAD to write what I did about such experiences. Here is the song that I had on repeat while writing this, if you want the full experience 🙂
Some Other Place
Confessions of a Horny Christian Single Girl 
Beautiful…exactly how I feel sometimes.
Such a thoughtful, complex poem and so very beautiful. I’ve been reading many of your archived blogs and have learned a little about you, enough to hope you meet someone and I find such sincerity and beauty in your writing that I know you’ll meet someone and enjoy a happy life. Sometimes you said things bemoaning the lack of dating and men in your life but I believe we all go through that. I know I have long ago. I think it’s common.
I love reading this blog and your experiences and all the replies because it’s so reassuring to see how we all struggle with similar issues. I think this blog has helped many who come here to read your beautiful thoughts and your struggles and the struggles of many who reply and it’s comforting to see how much alike we are. I do hope you continue to write this blog. I know I’ll continue to read.
I came across this site yesterday while looking for help online. It’s so reassuring to see others going through the same struggles with masturbation and impure thoughts that just invade my mind over and over. Your story is so much like mine. I started masturbating when I was 10 and now at 15 I’m still at it with all the guilty pleasure that goes with all that. But it’s gotten way worse lately and I went on line to find answers and found this wonderful blog. My older sister got married a few months ago and they’re living with us, my parents and little brother, until they get a place of their own. But my problem is that I can hear them at night making love in the next room and it just stirs up all the wrong thoughts. The first time I actually put my ear to the wall I was so shocked but drawn to the sounds of their sex. My heart was pounding and I almost felt a little faint. The images just flooded my thoughts with what they were doing. It doesn’t help that, Tim, her husband is so good looking and athletic. Sometimes I get awakened in the morning with the sounds of their bed rhythmically jarring and then more…. I try to resist but it seems impossible. I masturbate every day sometimes more. I’ve prayed for strength and talked to an older girl at our church but I’m just hoping they find a place of their own soon so I can get some relief. My parents don’t know since their bedroom is further away and I don’t think they can hear. Also I’m too shy to bring this up with my sister. What can I do? I’m feeling more than a little desperate! Help!
Yikes! I’m so sorry you are in that situation! And I completely understand why you feel you can’t say anything and also why it makes masturbation a serious issue for you. My first thought is white noise, white noise, white noise. Get a large box fan and turn it on high. If possible, move your bed to the wall furthest from them. I don’t know how loud they are, so I understand that doing these things might not help you, but I’d encourage you to set up your environment for your success. If that fails to keep you from hearing them you need to pull your sister aside because you truly have done your part and she can do hers to help you. You don’t have to tell her everything, but a, “Hey I didn’t want to say anything, but I got white noise and moved my bed and I can still hear you guys and I feel awkward about it,” might be okay. I mean, if the noise is just the bed hitting the wall, they simply have to move it away a few inches. If it’s screaming, they just need to control or muffle that. There are easy and practical steps they can take to be more considerate.
The main thing is that you do what you can to avoid thinking about your brother in law. He’s your bro now. Pretend he’s blood. I also have a hot brother-in-law but it didn’t take long for me to see him as my brother. The sooner he’s family in your head the better. You need to train your brain to see that boundary 24/7.
Again, I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s going to be okay! Just do what you can to change the situation for your own success. Trust me, make those changes now so that this isn’t a crippling habit for years to come. You are human. For most of us that means a sex drive and a desire for love and intimacy. But start shaping your mind now. Your hormones are against you and your thoughts will want to constantly be on sex, but you do have control over where your mind dwells. Ask the Lord to help you renew your mind. You can’t control the thought popping in your head but you can control whether you stay there. Memorize Romans 12. At least the whole first chunk of it. Also understand that Jesus is human, He knows what it’s like to have a sex drive. He kept his in perfect submission to God through the power of the Holy Spirit. I’d love to know what that looks like lived out, but I suppose the only way to know is to live in submission to God through the power of the Holy Spirit myself. God loves you. He isn’t ashamed of you for this struggle. Lean into Him and allow His guidance and voice to know how to handle this. Don’t try to hide from Him in shame. That’s just believing lies of the enemy. This whole thing is covered by Jesus’ sacrifice so that you can navigate it with God and not alone. Let Him in on it.
That is such wonderful encouraging advice. You’re so thoughtful. I do hope I can keep writing to you about this trying situation or other such circumstances. I will get my nerve up to talk to my sis about it, as you say, because that does seem like the best solution for now. Throughout all the comments I’ve read on this site I see such insight and positive feedback. I see you and others struggling with their sexuality, as I am, and yet staying positive and being strong. Thank you so much for your long and thoughtful response.
Hello Ace,
I read Romans 12 and found it beautiful. I can find solace and peace just reading those words of love and peace, of humble sacrifice and about the different gifts we all have. I like where it says to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Those thoughts help when our bodies seem to demand a craving that overwhelms, with my situation that I told about above. Thank you again for your words and your advice. Reading through this blog I feel that with your struggles you can easily understand. I’ve been thinking about talking to Linda, my sister, but I’m really hesitant for a few reasons. Maybe I can discuss that more at another time or maybe by email, but I hate to bother you, you seem to busy responding to all who come to this site. You really have a gift for teaching, for giving hopeful words. Thanks.
Carol
You can email me at hornychristiansinglegirl@gmail.com. I forget to check that for long stretches, but I’ll keep an eye out for a while. Or you can leave me a comment that you sent one. I’d be glad to hear from you. I’m not too busy 🙂
Hello Ace,
I did send two. I’m mostly concerned about talking to my sis. Thank you again.
Carol
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